CD Projekt Red on YouTube
In video games you can do anything! Or at least almost anything. Up until recently, savvier players of Cyberpunk 2077 — the much-discussed but deeply troubled new RPG — could even sort of, not quite have sex with the character modeled on and played by Keanu Reeves. But no more: As per PC Gamer (by way of The AV Club), the game’s developers, CD Projekt Red have gone in and removed the mod that allows one to have their way with the star of Johnny Mnemonic.
Before it was deleted, the mod in question allowed players to, as PC Gamer put it, “manually swap character skin textures onto other models.” And so, if you were one of the lucky gamers to acquire this mod, you could hypothetically swap Keanu onto the body of a “joytoy,” which is to say a sexbot.
Mind you, it sounds like it was very, very, very far from fake-having sex with one of Hollywood’s most ageless stallions. “The mod creates a pretty bad approximation of having sex with Keanu,” PC Gamer reports, “because the character remains dressed and doesn’t have Keanu’s voice (it retains the Joytoy’s voice lines).” Still, it’s the thought that counts, we guess.
When PC Gamer reached out to CDPR for an explanation, they were told they were looking out for those big-time actors who put their trust in them, assuming their likenesses wouldn’t be draped over top a video game sexbot. “Our most important rule regarding user-generated content, game mods in particular, is that it can’t be harmful towards others,” they told the publication. “In the case of model swaps, especially those that involve explicit situations, it can be perceived as such by the people who lent us their appearance for the purpose of creating characters in Cyberpunk 2077.”
So if you ever wanted to play a video game in which you have sex with a fully clothed Keanu Reeves as he speaks with another character’s voice, it looks like you’re too late.