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39 Red Flags That Prove You Are, In Fact, Heterosexual

Posted 12 hours ago

39 Red Flags That Prove You Are, In Fact, Heterosexual

I’m so sorry, but you’re straight if these things describe you.

1.

Your favorite Britney Spears song is “Toxic.”

2.

You have no idea who this woman is:

kylie minogue


Comic Relief / Getty Images

3.

The only Carly Rae Jepsen song you can name is “Call Me Maybe.”


Peopleimages / Getty Images

4.

You think “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran is the perfect first dance song at a wedding.

ed sheeran

ed sheeran


Patrick Aventurier / Getty Images

5.

You lose your mind when they play “Shut Up and Dance” at weddings.

6.

You have empty liquor bottles on top of your cabinets.

7.

You have empty protein containers on top of your cabinets.

8.

You own a candle that looks like this:

9.

You say “love wins.”


Luis Alvarez / Getty Images

10.

You own something that says “live, laugh, love” in your house.

11.

You have participated in SantaCon.


San Francisco Chronicle / Hearst Newspapers via Getty Images

12.

You refer to your friends as “buddies.”


Hinterhaus Productions / Getty Images

13.

You refer to individual friends as “my man.”


Oliver Rossi / Getty Images

14.

You have no idea who they are:


Comic Relief / Getty Images

15.

You have participated in or witnessed a real-life gender reveal.

a woman holding pink and blue balloons

a woman holding pink and blue balloons

16.

You love St. Patrick’s Day.


Europanewswire / Getty Images

17.

You have stolen a traffic cone.


Standing Dongyun / Getty Images

18.

You’ve been to a Phish, Dave Matthews, or Grateful Dead concert.


Kevin Mazur / Getty Images

19.

You can open a bottle with a lighter.

20.

You refer to babies as “little man” or “little bud.”


Kirill Rudenko / Getty Images

21.

You refer to hot dogs as dogs — “grilling up some dogs!”


Manonallard / Getty Images

22.

You think Grindr is a “dating app.”


Chris Delmas / Getty Images

23.

You prefer hot coffee over iced.


Yulia Naumenko / Getty Images

24.

You drink glasses of milk.


Aleksandr Zamuruev / Getty Images

25.

When you hear the word “poppers,” you think of the food.


Pamela_d_mcadams / Getty Images

26.

When you hear the word “Robyn,” you think of a bird.

27.

You have no idea who this woman is:

28.

You have taken a picture with a fish.


Photographer Kris Krüg / Getty Images

29.

You thought Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper were dating.


Laurent Koffel / Getty Images

30.

You know how to play lacrosse.


Medianews Group / Getty Images

31.

You use two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.


Predrag Popovski / Getty Images

32.

You have a friend named “Cheese.”

33.

Your favorite Kelly Clarkson song is “Since U Been Gone.”


Yui Mok – Pa Images / Getty Images

34.

You own a gingham-print shirt.


Catherine Ledner / Getty Images

35.

You have a wooden American flag in your living room.

36.

You walk slow.


Petesphotography / Getty Images

37.

You have participated in “no-shave November.”


Cavan Images / Getty Images

38.

You still like Justin Timberlake.


Isa Foltin / Getty Images

39.

And lastly, you have unironically used the word “hubby.”

Source: 39 Red Flags That Prove You Are, In Fact, Heterosexual

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