Just 17 Of The Worst Excuses People Have Ever Heard In Their Lives
“I’m just a [astrological sign], I can’t help it.”
Have you ever asked someone for a favor or to hang out and they gave you an excuse that you immediately recognized as a lie? Welp, you’re far from alone.
“My ex’s younger sister came home high off an edible and told her parents that a Monster energy drink had reacted with her medication.”
“A coworker called in and said that his basement flooded from the rain. The rain had happened two days earlier and he lives in a mobile home.”
“I wasn’t driving dangerously, I was swerving to the music.”
“When I was a kid, a classmate came with two fingers wrapped in bandages on an exam day and he said he was not able to do the exams ’cause a stray rat bit his fingers. He was only 8–9 years old and he got caught.”
“This one kid was playing Call of Duty on his phone in the middle of his college class. The teacher walked up to him and asked him what he’s doing, and he responded saying, ‘Sorry, I was just texting my mom.’ I was standing around where the teacher was and it was so obvious that we could see what he was looking at on his phone.”
“‘We are experiencing unusually high call volumes.’ ALL THE TIME?! It’s not unusual.”
“‘I didn’t read what was inside the envelope.’ —Person who was served court paperwork and defied the orders contained in it. The court didn’t buy it.”
“So, I used to be in a relationship with my ex and I would catch him cheating all the time. Toward the end of the relationship, I caught him sending Facebook messages to a girl confirming they kissed and he couldn’t wait to do more with her. We started fighting and his excuse was, ‘If you would have just given me another hour, I would have deleted those messages.'”
“I’m just an [astrological sign], I can’t help it.”
“First time I got drunk, my mom came home to my friend puking and he told her that he was homesick.”
“My supervisor at my old job REALLY hated letting any of us take planned days off and would just be difficult or straight-up deny requests without need for explanation. Even if we had accrued time, and even if no one else was going to be out that day, she would say ‘no’ anyway. … Well, one day we got an email from our supervisor saying, ‘Team — I’ll be out today as I got a last minute opportunity to go kayaking.’ Really. She saw nothing wrong with that.”
“From online teaching during COVID, I’ve heard of a load: ‘Got to go, my lunch is ready;’ ‘Sorry I’m late, I was walking my gran;’ ‘Sorry, just woke up (at 11 a.m.);’ ‘I was having a shower.'”
“I once roomed with a grown adult man and his 12-year-old son. We all shared a bathroom and it was disgusting all the time — toilet seat always up, piss everywhere, little hairs everywhere, etc. It was after I went to use the bathroom and found shit smeared on the back of the toilet seat that I called a meeting with him and his son because I’d had enough.
‘I’m not going to make my son clean up after himself and neither will I. We can’t help it, we just moved out of my mother’s house, where she did all the cleaning.'”
“When I was a teacher, I had a really fun student. One day he comes into class late without an excuse, and I asked him why. He told me that some student said I wasn’t the best teacher in the school, so he had to fight him.”
And finally, our personal favorite:
What’s the worst excuse you’ve ever heard? Let us know in the comments.